employment

this last year, as i have alluded to post after post, has been pretty rough. the kind of hours mr j and i work, while trying to balance the family and farm have been draining. in fact, mr j has been to the ER several times, not to mention the doc's office. last weekend, finding ourselves in the ER yet again, and then upon discharging, i went and worked a graveyard until 7am, i came home and instigated a very serious talk. it was obvious that we couldn't sustain our current situation. we mulled over the options and finally agreed that mr j needed to cut back on hours and commitment on one of his jobs that had potential, but wasn't currently our bread and butter.
so monday to work he went.
and talked with his boss.
and was told that he couldn't cut back on hours and that they really couldn't do without him.
so we stayed tuned all week and friday got the good news that he now has a full-time, with benefits, day-time situation! he will go part-time with his current full-time situation, work less total hours, sleep more total hours, and get a little bit more money annually.
it still hasn't completely soaked in.
oh, and it starts tomorrow.
what this means:
1. i will not be a single mom sunday-thursday
2. i will go to bed and wake up with my husband 6 out of 7 days a week
3. mr j will be able to contribute to the family, house, animals, and dacha in the way he desires, and i need :)
and the silly thing, is that i am scared. still working through why, but this change is terrifying for me.
maybe when you soldier on during a crisis, you don't realize how wound up and tense you are, then relief comes and you kinda crumble.
call me ms. cookie this week.
i kinda came apart.
but, the good news: i have my best friend and support to help me pick up the pieces and get it back together.
and i have these, to keep me motivated to be my best and not unravel completely: